Fear Factor

Last night we attended the church Halloween party. When asked where Eloise was I explained that she was at Science Camp with her 5th/6th school class. "Is it over night?!". Yes, we pick her up on Friday morning. "Can you visit her every day". No, we are not allowed to call or visit unless in case of emergency. "Oh, I could never let my child go camp". Well, I've been thinking about this - as I was not sleeping last night. Yes, I miss Eloise and as this was her first real time to be on her own, I have my nerves, but I never actually considered not letting her go. I really think that we have to progressively let our children have opportunities to rely on themselves and the things we have taught them. They need to develop self confidence. Yes, the world is a scary place, but if we over shelter out kids, fill them with fear, how will they ever learn to survive in the big bad world? I figure letting her go to camp, is a very measured opportunity. She is with friends, her school teacher, vetted teen counselors - who are probably more interested in sneaking into each other's cabins than messing with my kid. We let MaCall go to camp when she was in6th grade. She was scared and did not want to go, but when we picked her up at the end of the week she was a changed person. She loved it. She loved her counselors. She bonded with her friends. She learned that she could have an experience that was her own and was not one that she shared with her parents. It is like having a secret, it is ownership. It makes a child feel more grown up. For four days they have to deal with handling social issues on their own, making some of their own decisions.

We let MaCall go all the way to Europe this summer - something most of our local friends could not imagine. Here again, we were not throwing her to the wolves. She was with a group of students, her Grandparents, cousin. Yes, I missed her and worried, when I did not hear from her, but again, I knew it would be a growing experience for her.

So, I was thinking about these friends who will not let their kids go to music camp, or science camp, or overnight field trips etc. What is it based on, fear. It is really fear. One of these families has a special DVD player that zapps all the naughty parts of movies (though Eloise says that you can hear the first letter of every word, so know what they are saying). One of these parents - of teen agers I might add, threw away the video Happy Feet because the penguin dancing was inappropriate. Another family, requires weekly report cards from the schools - for elementary, Jr. High and High School aged kids - to make sure they get good grades. All of this control can't possibly help their kids learn to use their own judgment, or practice using the skills we teach at home. How can they develop self confidence if they are never given trust and responsibility?

Back to the fear. Now, I may be way off base, but these same Fearful parents are also the ones who are voting Republican. They live their lives in fear of what is outside their door. They also claim to be living the Gospel of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but if you really understand the Gospel you know that we are not to live in fear. We are not to isolate ourselves from the community and people who have different culture, opinions and values than we have. We can't fear that letting our child be surrounded by non Mormon's will taint them. If we have any faith in our beliefs than we need to trust our children to remember the things we have taught them. We need to trust the Lord to watch over them and protect them. If you really profess to believe in an all loving God, you have to have faith that he will watch over you and your family. Yes, we need to be cautious. I'm not saying to let your kids run wild, but we need to let go and not live in fear.

My rant for the day.